How to Give (and Receive) Meaningful Feedback That Actually Helps Your Team Grow
In this blog post for The Undefined Leader, we get curious about what it means to give feedback that builds successful teams. In our podcast episode “Are You Giving Feedback the Wrong Way?”, we focused on the art of giving meaningful feedback—the kind that helps your team improve, stay engaged, and ultimately thrive.
If you find feedback conversations difficult (or if your team hides under their desks at the mere mention of “Can we talk?”), this post is for you. Below, we’re expanding on our discussion from the episode, sharing real-life examples and practical tips. Don’t forget to check out the full podcast episode for an even deeper dive!
Why Feedback Matters More Than You Think
Feedback vs. Criticism
We often hear leaders say they’re “bad at giving feedback” because they don’t want to “criticize” their employees. The truth? Feedback and criticism are not the same.
Criticism = Expressing disapproval
Feedback = Offering insights to help someone improve
In fact, research shows that 80% of employees who receive meaningful feedback feel more engaged at work. Giving someone regular, constructive input isn’t just a workplace obligation; it’s an act of kindness that signals you care about their growth.
Regular Feedback Reduces Turnover
A study we mentioned found that consistent, meaningful feedback can reduce employee turnover by 15%. Simply put, when people feel seen, supported, and challenged in the right ways, they’re far more likely to stay with you. If you struggle with retention, start by asking how (and how often) you deliver feedback.
The Problem with “Feedback Sandwiches”
You might have heard of the “feedback sandwich” approach—praise, then critique, then praise again. While it’s been popular in management trainings for years, it often feels forced and inauthentic:
Fake Positivity – The “good stuff” is seen as fluff that exists only to soften the blow of the real critique.
Diluted Message – Your team member may walk away unsure about what truly needs improvement.
Eroded Trust – Once people catch on, they tune out the compliments and just wait for the “bad part.”
If your goal is honest, direct, and kind communication, the old “feedback sandwich” will leave everyone feeling a little unsatisfied.
How to Give Meaningful, Actionable Feedback
1. Check Your Own Emotions First
Before you say, “Hey, can we talk?” take a moment to reflect:
Have you clearly communicated expectations?
Are you calm and ready to help (not just vent)?
Leaders often assume issues are obvious, but sometimes “common sense” isn’t so common. Make sure both sides are aligned on what good looks like before jumping into a feedback conversation.
2. Be Timely (But Don’t Ambush)
Timely feedback is more effective than waiting weeks—or months—to address something. Aim for same-day feedback if possible, but only if you’re not heated. If you (or the other person) need time to cool off, that’s fine—just don’t let the issue go stale.
Pro Tip: If you must schedule a meeting, give context. Instead of “We need to talk,” say, “Hey, do you have 10 minutes today? I want to chat about our start-time expectations and make sure we’re on the same page.”
3. Get Curious & Be Specific
Leading with genuine curiosity helps you understand the root cause of the issue. For example:
“I’ve noticed you’ve been arriving about an hour late for the past three days. Is everything okay? How can we work together to solve this?”
Specific details—such as exact times or measurable outcomes—give clarity and prevent the conversation from feeling like a personal attack.
4. Use Whole Messaging
We love the concept of Whole Messaging from Dr. Matthew McKay’s book Messages. It involves expressing all four components of communication:
What you observe – “I noticed you arrived at 11 a.m. instead of the usual 10 a.m.”
What you think – “I’m wondering if there’s a schedule misalignment or misunderstanding about start times.”
How you feel – “I feel concerned because it impacts our ability to serve customers promptly.”
What you want or need – “I’d like us to figure out a solution so you can be on time, or communicate in advance when your schedule changes.”
By hitting all four, you remove ambiguity, invite collaboration, and keep the focus on improvement rather than blame.
5. Co-Create a Plan (and Follow Up)
Feedback should always end with a clear action plan. Maybe it’s adjusting schedules, offering extra training, or setting specific goals. Once you agree on next steps, book a quick follow-up to revisit progress:
“Let’s touch base next week to see how your new schedule is working for you and for the team.”
Building a Culture of Feedback
The secret sauce? Make feedback part of the everyday culture, not an isolated “performance review” event. Here’s how:
Debrief Sessions: After major tasks or presentations, gather for quick, structured feedback. Ask what went well and what can be improved.
360-Degree Feedback: Encourage peers, direct reports, and managers to give input on each other’s work. (This isn’t just for big corporations—small teams can do it too!)
Model It as a Leader: Let your team see you asking for and accepting feedback graciously. If you receive critical input with empathy and curiosity, they’ll feel safer doing the same.
Start Small: Your Feedback Challenge
Ready to flex your feedback muscles? We dare you to:
Identify one team member who did something great or something that needs improvement.
Deliver one piece of feedback today—positive or constructive—using the tips above.
Watch how they respond. Did they ask follow-up questions? Are they clearer on next steps?
Feeling extra bold? Send us your feedback on the podcast! We truly want to hear what resonated with you or what we can improve next time.
Listen to the Full Episode
Curious about more real-life stories and a deeper dive into making feedback part of your team’s culture? Tune into the full episode of The Undefined Leader podcast. We cover:
Why “meaningful feedback” is the ultimate act of kindness at work
Overcoming the fear of tough conversations
Practical tips on group vs. one-on-one feedback
How to ask for feedback yourself (and why it matters)
Follow us on Instagram @undefinedleader or wherever you get your podcasts. Let us know your biggest “aha!” moment from this episode—and don’t forget to share the feedback love with someone on your team today.
Remember: When feedback is done right, it’s not just critique—it’s a clear path toward growth, trust, and a more engaged, high-performing team.