How to Avoid Toxic Positivity and Instead Create Authenticity in Your Team Culture
In this article, we are curios about a prickly but important topic: toxic positivity. It might sound counterintuitive—how can positivity be toxic? Yet many of us have felt the sting of dismissive, forced cheeriness that overlooks real challenges and emotional struggles.
Below, we expand on our podcast conversation in the episode “When Does Positivity Become Toxic? The Leadership Trap of Toxic Positivity” about recognizing toxic positivity, how it differs from genuinely helpful optimism, and ways to create a workplace culture that embraces both highs and lows in a healthy way.
What Is Toxic Positivity?
Toxic positivity is essentially forced positivity—an insistence on “good vibes only,” refusing to acknowledge or discuss negative emotions, and pushing for “silver linings” in every scenario, regardless of context. Here are some telltale signs:
“At Least” Statements
Example: “At least you have a job!” or “At least it’s sunny outside!”
Why It’s Toxic: It invalidates real concerns and shuts down further discussion.
Thought-Terminating Clichés
Example: “It is what it is,” “You’re overthinking it,” “Trust the process,” “You’ve got this.”
Why It’s Toxic: These phrases end meaningful dialogue, forcing people to “move on” without properly addressing challenges.
Dismissing Negative Emotions
Leaders might say, “Let’s not focus on the negative,” or “Don’t rock the boat.”
Why It’s Toxic: This approach sidesteps genuine problems and discourages honesty, ultimately harming morale.
Why It Harms Your Team and Culture
1. It Erodes Psychological Safety
When employees feel they can’t voice setbacks, frustrations, or doubts, trust breaks down. Team members become isolated with their negative emotions and are less likely to ask for help or solve problems collaboratively.
2. It Leads to Burnout
Constantly suppressing “unwelcome” emotions is exhausting. People must pretend everything’s great, which is mentally taxing and unsustainable. Over time, this can create resentment and high turnover.
3. It Stifles Innovation
Healthy conflict and real talk are essential for creativity. If everyone is pressured to say only “positive” things, problems go unsolved, and fresh ideas never surface because people fear rocking the boat.
Healthy Positivity vs. Toxic Positivity
Healthy positivity doesn’t mean ignoring challenges—it means staying hopeful and solutions-oriented while still acknowledging the difficulty of a situation. Think of it as optimism with realism:
Healthy: “This is hard, but we can get through it. Let’s talk about what’s making it difficult and find ways to support each other.”
Toxic: “Don’t worry about it. It’ll all be fine. Let’s not focus on the negative.”
The difference? Empathy. One approach invites you into the conversation, validating real struggles. The other brushes them aside, invalidating your experience.
5 Ways to Avoid Toxic Positivity and Lead Authentically
1. Practice Empathy and Curiosity
Instead of delivering a quick “You got this!” or “At least it’s not worse,” ask questions:
“What’s the biggest challenge here?”
“How can I support you?”
“What’s one thing causing the most stress?”
These open-ended prompts create space for honest emotion—and honest problem-solving.
2. Model Vulnerability
Leaders set the tone. By sharing your own missteps and frustrations, you signal it’s okay to be imperfect:
“I struggled with this new system yesterday—spent hours trying to fix one glitch.”
“I messed up on a client call, but I learned [XYZ]. Let’s talk about how to handle it next time.”
This normalizes discussing challenges without shame or dismissal.
3. Avoid Thought-Terminating Clichés
Watch out for phrases like “Trust the process” or “It is what it is.” While well-intentioned, they shut down critical thinking. Instead, try:
“Let’s explore what’s confusing here.”
“Tell me more about what worries you.”
Help your team feel heard and respected rather than glossed over.
4. Combine Optimism with a Real Plan
Yes, it’s good to uplift your team with hope—but back it up:
Toxic: “Don’t worry, everything will be fine!”
Healthy: “I believe we can handle this challenge. Let’s map out Steps A, B, and C to get there. Where might we need extra support?”
Encouragement plus actionable steps fuels genuine confidence.
5. Encourage Constructive Conflict
Authentic positivity doesn’t mean zero conflict; it means productive discussions about problems. Invite debate:
“I want to hear any pushback or concerns about this plan. Let’s see where we can improve.”
Real issues come to light sooner, and creative solutions emerge more quickly when negativity isn’t off-limits.
Recognize the Power of Balanced Positivity
Leaders who welcome open discussions—both the good and the bad—create a culture of psychological safety. Team members know they can bring up concerns, request help, and brainstorm frankly without being judged or dismissed. That leads to:
Greater resilience – Teams that face realities head-on bounce back faster from setbacks.
Higher engagement – People trust a workplace that allows them to be human.
Stronger innovation – Candid feedback sparks fresh ideas and more effective problem-solving.
Listen to the Full Episode
For more real-world examples of avoiding toxic positivity and embracing healthy emotional range, tune into our latest podcast episode. We cover:
Brene Brown’s insights on empathy and how “at least” statements erode trust
Why “You’ve got this!” can be a thought-terminating cliché—and what to say instead
Tips on creating an environment where negative emotions are not just allowed, but valued as crucial to growth
Subscribe to The Undefined Leader on your favorite podcast platform, and follow us on Instagram (@undefinedleader) for more behind-the-scenes insights and leadership tips. Have your own experience with toxic positivity—or healthy empathy done right? Drop us a comment or DM. We’d love to learn from you!
Remember: Real leadership isn’t about denying the hard stuff—it’s about facing it with compassion, support, and a commitment to authentic, human connection.
